1.The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. - Jay Leno
2.Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet.
3.I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple
4.Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. -Johnny Carson
5.The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband. -Joan Rivers
6.Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
7. Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
8.Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish,If it weren't for Christmas,We'd all be Jewish. -Benny Hill
9.Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
10.I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.-Bernard Manning
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